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Robin
Saltonstall
short
story writer
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short
story
In
Cold Blood
Already the smell is
bad. I know that smell. My brother is a
butcher. Sometimes the freezers fail. I
know that smell.
Last night was so cold. Now it is hot.
In here it is dark, outside it is
light.
I try to move. It is no use. I cannot.
I go away, it is green, it is cool, water
sparkles. She is there. I hear women's
laughter. Men call me, my brothers, I see
Rahman. There are good smells, piled
carpets, spiced lamb. This world shines
with gold, silver; and life. I make love
with my darling, my wife, but softly - we
must not wake the children - she
smiles...
A terrible pain, and a sickness; I am back
, she, life; both are gone.
I hurt, I hurt so very much.
But strangely I cannot feel them - my legs
I mean.
That smell - it is getting worse. Flies
buzz. I feel sick. I feel faint. But they
cannot get to me. I am underneath; I
cannot move.
Ahmed is on top of me, Masud to one side.
I do not know who is to my left. It could
be Osama - or Leyla. Flesh that was warm,
that's now cool, touches mine. Yesterday
they lived. Yesterday they died.
I struggle, struggle to breathe. Ahmed is
on top of me; he is that weight, dead
weight; he is that smell. There is a gap
at his shoulder where his right arm should
be. Through it a shaft of sunlight has
found us. I see his contorted face. It is
all I can do to focus my eyes. It is so
close. It is just inches from mine. It is
as though we are locked in some last
carnal embrace. Death mocks us.
I wake again. How long has it been? The
start, the jump of my body has been all
but extinguished by that dead weight
pressing down upon me. Far away, so far
away that I wonder whether it is in this
world or the next, I hear the faint
tinkling of a bell. I see sun, rocks,
goats - their shepherd, myself as a
boy.
The shaft of sunlight has moved on. I can
see now that there are jagged holes in the
white-painted mud wall. Through them other
sunbeams are streaming. There is just the
suspicion of a draught, a movement in the
air. Around us a myriad of empty bullet
cases sparkle as the shadows move and are
lifted in turn from the bare earthen
floor. Above me, through the charred
wooden and smoke blackened twisted metal
sheeting of the roof, it is there, I can
just see it; blood red are the jet trails
in a world weary sky.
It is no use. I can hold it no longer. I
shit. I piss. It gushes from me. Now I
have decided I just let it all go, go
completely. What does it matter? I will be
dead soon. Under my buttocks I feel the
warmth of it, my shame, my humiliation;
but further down I feel nothing, just
nothing at all. The stench forces its way
into my mouth, my nostrils.
I wretch. I weep. I pray.
I pray that death will take me, take me
now.
It is later. It seems darker. I know that,
nothing more.
Then I hear it, very faintly at first, but
now it grows louder. There is no mistaking
that sound. Soon it is a throbbing roar
that fills my head. Everything vibrates. I
hear the tracks as they grind, clank,
groan and squeak. Now the track noise
stops but not that throbbing engine roar
and snarl. The ground, our world around
us, trembles and shakes.
It is the infidels. We have no
tanks........
NEXT
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